For the very kind folks who have called my blog a "thinking" blog, I want to set you straight. Thinking is a hobby that I occasionally participate in. I emphatically deny making a regular habit of thinking. It is just something that happens on occasion...mostly by accident.
So, what can I do to convince you of that? Talk about stinky feet, of course!
Hot off of the presses:
13-year-old wins rotten sneaker contest
By JOHN CURRAN, Associated Press WriterTue Mar 20, 4:02 PM ET
Thirteen-year-old Katharine Tuck's sneakers are equal opportunity offenders. They smell as bad as they look. Now, the Utah seventh grader is $2,500 richer because of it: On Tuesday, she out-ranked six other children to win the 32nd annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest, stinking up the joint with a pair of well-worn 1 1/2-year-old Nikes so noxious they had the judges wincing.
"I'm so proud of the little stinker," said her mother, Paula Tuck.
Ah, the foul smell of success.
The contest, which was founded in 1975 as a sporting good store promotion and is now sponsored by the manufacturer of anti-foot odor products, pits children from around the nation who have won state-level competitions for the generally cruddy condition of their footwear.
Kyle Underwood, 9, was in from Las Cruces, N.M., with his low-cut black Starters, the ones with the blown-out toe on the right foot. "These are bad," sighed judge Andy Brewer. "Ooh, these are really bad."
Michael Nduka, 9, of White Plains, N.Y., was there, too, with his ratty black-and-white low-cuts, which â€” like the others â€” were passed from judge to judge for inspection. Judge William Fraser, who is Montpelier's city manager, held one up using the tip of a pen, like a crime scene investigator trying not to taint the evidence.
Eleven-year-old Alex Clark's sneakers had tape over the holes in the toes, and the instep of one was blown out. When judge George Aldrich took a whiff, he coughed and then handed the sneaker back to Clark. "I saw you flinch," Aldrich said to him.
"As a parent, you want to hide," said Kathy Midgley, 48, of Berkeley Heights, N.J., who was there to watch her 8-year-old son compete.
Clad in Odor-Eaters baseball caps and Odor-Eaters T-shirts, each contestant had to jump in place once and then make one full turn in place before taking off his or her shoes and handing them to the judges. It was 24 degrees outside, but only one of them wore socks â€” since foot sweat is a boon not a bane in this game.
So this raised the following questions:
- What kind of parent would enroll their child in this type of contest?
- Do they have to enroll their children in some sort of tutoring program (like Sylvan) where kids get special insights into bacterial growth?
- Do they use this as a springboard to further competitions where foul odors are awarded?
- Why don't adults compete in the competition? Is it simply a ploy to humiliate kids?
- Are these children considered gifted?
- Is this like a spelling bee, or more like American Idol?
I also began to wonder (not think, wonder) what other resources there were on the web regarding stinky feet. Much to my delight (and your enrichment) I found all sorts of information regarding stinky feet.
First, there is a guy who goes by the name Mr. Stinky Feet. After hours of arduous research, I could not find out if he truly has stinky feet, or if he is just capitalizing on the natural interest people have in them. My theory is that he uses the name to appeal to kids while scaring them a little. This decreases the risk of developing a posse. Good idea.
Maybe I need to start calling myself "Dr. Stinky Feet" to get rid of my posse.
Second, Japanese researchers have received an IgNoble award for the following:
F. Kanda, E. Yagi, M. Fukuda, K. Nakajima, T. Ohta and O. Nakata
of the Shisedo Research Center in Yokohama, for their pioneering
research study "Elucidation of Chemical Compounds Responsible for
Foot Malodour," especially for their conclusion that people who
think they have foot odor do, and those who don't, don't.
[Published in British Journal of Dermatology, vol. 122, no. 6,
June 1990, pp. 771-6.]
This is why I suspect that Mr. Stinky feet is not a fraud. He knows he has stinky feet. This proves that he is right. Right?
Third, and not entirely on the subject: do you realize there is a group of people who have formed the Society for Barefoot Living? They advocate a barefoot lifestyle and debunk many of the common myths that people hold on barefoot living, such as:
Did you know that dogs love stinky feet??
I came upon this while looking for more stinky-feet related content. They have a good case in saying that stinky feet are less common in their members. The bad news is that these members are so socially isolated (due to their obsession with bare feet) that it really doesn't matter if their feet stink or not. Perhaps this is another way for Mr. Stinky Feet to get rid of his posse!
Finally, I found information regarding how to get rid of stinky feet. Here are some of the more interesting ones.
From Health 911:
- Radishes Juice about two dozen radishes, add 1/4 teaspoon of glycerine, and put in a squirt or spray-top bottle. Use as an underarm deodorant or to reduce foot odor.
- Soap Wash your feet daily with soap (an antibacterial soap is preferable). Make sure you dry your feet and toes thoroughly. This will get rid of dead skin where the bacteria may be growing. Editorial Comment: now there's a radical idea. Use soap! Why hadn't I thought of that??
Try the following deodorizing foot wash, from Aromatherapy: Applications and Inhalations by San Francisco herbalist Jeanne Rose, chairperson of the National Association for Holistic Aromatherapy: Blend two ounces of water, ten drops of lemon essential oil and the juice of one lemon, then wipe your feet thoroughly.
For information on preparing and administering essential oils, including cautions about their use, see page 19. For information on purchasing essential oils, refer to the resource list on page 633.
Editorial: I thought stinky feet were already aromatherapy!
In addition to washing your feet daily with antibacterial soap, try one of the following remedies in a 12C potency in the morning and evening until you see improvement, says Chris Meletis, N.D., a naturopathic physician and medicinary director at the National College of Naturopathic Medicine in Portland, Oregon. According to Dr. Meletis, Silicea may help if you have ice-cold, sweaty feet and pain from the instep through the sole of your foot and if your armpits and hands also have an offensive odor. If your symptoms are worse with warmth, and if you tend to have dry and rough skin in places, he suggests trying Graphites. Iodom can help, he says, if you have acrid, sweaty feet and if the symptoms are worse in warm rooms and better with walking around and when feet are aired.
Editorial: That one is for Clark. I knew he would be interested in Silecea, graphites, and Iodom. If you really are looking for a homeopathic cure, wouldn't you take a small amount of stink from your feet, dilute the heck out of it, and then drink it? How come they don't suggest this??
My favorite is from Yin-Yang Colonics:
Do You Suffer From.....
Hi, my name is Harry Farris, the owner of
Accelerated Wellness in Indianapolis, Indiana.
I want to personally thank you for visiting my site. As you read and explore this website you'll discover how all of the above are symptoms of autointoxication. More importantly you'll find out how internal detoxification via
How Do We Become Toxic?
- Taking antibiotics
- Bathing in tap water
- Drinking tap water
- Driving in a car in heavy traffic
- Hair dyes
- Fingernail polish
- Standard cleaning products
- Toothpaste with fluoride
- Eating at Fast food restaurants
- Eating shellfish
- Using artificial sweeteners
- Not drinking enough purified water
- Have less than 2 bowel movements daily
- Drinking sodas
- Walking barefoot on grass
- Taking prescription drugs
Whoa!!! How does this fit in with the barefoot lifestyle folks. Do they have toxic colons? They must, especially if they drive their car in heavy traffic while barefoot! I thought that colon problems lead to other socially distressing smells, but I was not aware that it caused stinky feet!
This website is really chock full o' good info on colonics and "brainwave entrainment." It almost gets me thinking....nah!
Anyhow - that's the wrap on stinky feet. I hope you now are completely convinced of the total lack of brainwaves emanating from this website. I shall not take further accusations as lightly...