I recently replaced my beeper with a cell phone. It is the first time I have been without a beeper for over twenty years. In honor of this fact, I felt that I owed my long-time companion a farewell
O BEEPER! my Beeper! our fearful trip is done; Technology has passed you by, the cellular has won; My call I fear, the bells I hear, the nurses all keep calling, While follow ears the constant calls, the frequency appalling;
But O heart! heart! heart! O my tired eyes of red, Now in the drawer my Beeper lies, Fallen cold and dead.
O BEEPER! my Beeper! rise up and hear the tones; Rise up—for you the phone has rung—for you the ring-tone drones; For all the nights you've wrecked my sleep—your piercing sound still burning; For all-night call, the worried moms, their anxious voices yearning;
Here Beeper! Outmoded! Now thrown beneath my bed; It is some dream that finally, You’ve fallen cold and dead.
My Beeper does not vibrate, his transistors are still; My pager has no batteries, he has no pulse nor will; The phone is clipped on safe and sound, text messages received; With cool ring-tones, Verizon phones, will be all that I need;
Exult, I-Phone, and ring, Ma-bell! With two-year contracts wed, For in the trash my Beeper lies, Fallen cold and dead.
My apologies to Walt Whitman.