An elderly man told me this joke yesterday. These things help get you through the day.
There was a man whose father gave him some advice: "Just put gunpowder in your oatmeal and eat it every day and you will live to be a ripe old age."
So the man did what his father said, eating oatmeal and gunpowder, and he did in fact live very long. He finally died at the age of 102, leaving behind him 6 children, 22 grand children, and 50 great-grand children.
And a crater where the crematorium used to be.