What do I want to accomplish as a physician?  Here's my list:

  1. Get all of my patients very old.
  2. See each patient infrequently as possible - Not because of noncompliance, but because they are well.
  3. Have our office become a venue for an Olympic event. 

  4. Spend more time talking about non-medical things than medical things - Hopefully there won't be much medical stuff to talk about.  It is far better to just chat about life.
  5. Have patients so well that they wonder why they have to come in.
  6. Llama rides behind the building.
  7. Use as few medications as possible - Every medicine comes with a good side and a bad side.  The more medications a person is on, the higher likelihood of side effects.
  8. Order as few tests as possible - More information may not be better.  I do my best to only order tests that will help me make a decision.
  9. Go two weeks without someone throwing a fish at me.
  10. Have every patient know what tests are due at any given time.  They may not know off-hand, but they should have access to that information.
  11. agnew1Avoid being nominated for Vice-president.
  12. Have every patient know exactly why they are taking each medication I give them.  Again, they should have access to this information if they don't know it off-hand.
  13. Make it easy for people to get in touch with me - this one we are working on.  It is very hard with the volume we have, but hopefully some of the things we are working on will help get us there.
  14. Somehow get rid of those pesky walruses.
  15. Have people not dread coming to see me.  It may not be fun, but it doesn't have to be horrible.