As I was listening to the songs “Sleigh Ride” and “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” for the 12 gazillionth time, resigned to the fact that my mind would cruelly replay it for the rest of the day, I began to wonder why that happens. Why do incredibly annoying songs get stuck in our heads?
Then I realized that I’ve written a post on this very subject! I talked about Goober Peas and earworms. How could I forget?
Sigh. I think I am going nuts. I don’t remember the extensive research and labor involved in the process of coming up with that post?* Clearly the problem is the incursion of evil Christmas songs into my head, including:
- Sleigh Ride – I am told that Ella Fitzgerald does a great version of this, but obviously it is not a auricular nematode. All other versions are clearly inventions of Christmas haters.
- Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree – We will have a sentimental journey: the sentiments of loathing, revulsion, angst.
- Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time – A local radio station that my nurses listen to has committed itself to playing this song at least 4 times every hour. I think it’s a conspiracy with the local liquor stores and psychiatrists. I am seriously considering both.
- So This is Christmas – Giving Lennon equal time to ruin our lives.
- Santa Baby – Need I say more?
- Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer – Funny once, when I was a child. I think I was drugged. I was also unconscious. It was funny then, but NEVER AGAIN.
I hope this post hasn’t put any worms in your ears. If it does, you can always do what Bill Shatner did:
Khan! Khan! No More “Santa Baby!!!” Khan!!!!!!!!