I've got a bunch of pen pics taking up my memory, so I'm going to do my second post spawned by my discovery of a motherlode of drug pens in my desk.  Today's menagerie will feature some questionable decisions by the marketing departments.  It's bad enough to have doctors hate you (and throw things at you), or have the public feel that you are a cause of rising health care costs; some drug reps had an additional source of angst: the marketing departments for their companies.

Axid, for instance, was in forth place behind Zantac, Tagamet, and Pepcid.  So what did  the marketing department come up with to spur slumping sales?  Make a children's suspension of the drug and market it using hideous creatures.

(I have blurred this image to not scare any small children who may come across this inadvertently)

It's such a brilliant concept that it was, and continues to be embraced by the makers of Mucinex, a popular expectorant which commonly advertises on television.

This advertising campaign was undoubtedly devised by child psychologists desperate for business, who now have a glut of children waking up at night screaming, "Get that mucous guy out of my chest!  I don't want him living with his ugly wife inside of me, mommy!"  As an adult, this advertising makes me want to go out and buy a walnut sized pill to make that mucous guy sorry he ever messed with me.

Even a local medical equipment company took advantage of the marketing genius of "Mr. Mucus."

This effort did not go unnoticed by another local equipment company who, not wanting to touch the part of us charmed by grotesque mucous creatures, decided that nothing says "medical equipment" like a patriotic pen.

 This pen is adorned with the signature of none other than John Hancock (I think it's a genuine signature, too).

By using this pen, I am declaring my independence from expensive durable medical equipment.  It brings a tear to my eye and makes me want to sing "Proud to be an American" at the top of my lungs.

Some pens aren't blessed with hideous creatures or signatures of historical luminaries; they are just ugly.  I am not sure who in marketing felt, for example that I would find this pen, with it's Nerf ball handle and gaudy decoration, would make me more likely to prescribe the drug.

Or a hideous purple pen (although that circle thingy did almost suck me in).

Or another hideous purple pen (without the circle thingy, but with line thingys on the rubber thingy).

Or yet one more maybe not quite hideous purple pen, but was so cheap that the thingy that keeps it in your pocket broke off.

And finally, there's the oldest trick in the book:

Can anyone honestly resist it when they put purple and teal together?  I know I was writing...uh...Tektruna for weeks after getting this gorgeous pen.

That's it for now, I've got to run.  I think "Mr. Mucous" is coming back and I've got to take a pill the size of Delaware to put him in his place.  If I die in the process, be comforted by the fact that I took the whole Mucous clan to the grave with me.

Hey, maybe that's a good idea for a marketing campaign....

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